From the outside, it may look like I'm a doer, and that is mostly accurate. But, procrastination does play a part in my life too. Even though I get on and get things done, when it comes to bigger decisions, I can be super-slow at getting my act together. And this, can be a big drain on my energy.
Over the last couple of years I have been going back and forth with a big decision. When I look back, I actually made the decision at that time, it's just taken me this long to act on it.
With COVID-19, the biggest economic downturn of my lifetime looming, and my age and stage, it's been tough to put a line in the sand on this one. For months at a time I would think one way, then all of a sudden I'd get cold feet and jump back to safety. This of course is the illusion of safety and not reality at all. I'm always fascinated at my own process and how I think and what I subsequently learn.
There's been an awful lot of thinking and processing around this. It's involved looking at the advantages and disadvantages of making this decision. It's involved looking at finances and how they will be managed. And, it's involved being really honest with myself about where I'm currently at and what I want for my future. This I think has been the toughest part. Actually putting my own desires ahead of what might look like the most practical, and the best financial decision, is scary. It's not natural for me either.
What I have learned over the last few years though is that taking big steps, that I never would have taken in the past, have given me peace and happiness. Leading up to those decisions however, have been draining beyond anything I've known before.
When I don't make a decision or when I continue doing something that is not good for me, my energy is drained massively. The constant thoughts about what I should do are what get me. What's interesting, is that when I'm in that process, I don't see it so clearly. But once I've made the decision, it becomes crystal clear that I have been using a lot of energy, thinking about what to do.
What I want to do, is get better at recognising this upfront, so I'm not expending all that precious time and energy, just to get to the same conclusion I originally came up with. Now I do have to admit, putting it that way sounds really, really quite silly.
Procrastination is the thief of time.
It's absolutely true isn't it? The longer we spend thinking about something, the less time we have. Now that I'm older, I'm acutely aware of my limited time on this planet. And, I'm darn sure I don't want to waste the energy I do have; especially on worrying about what I'm going to do next. I want to get out and live.
Question: How do you manage big decisions and what works for you? I'd love to hear your experiences. Let me know in the comments.
Hi, I'm Kathryn.
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