You know I have noticed that I don't always talk kindly to myself in my head. Lately, it's definitely improving but my inner dialogue certainly isn't as encouraging as it could be. Many of us are in the same boat.
So, I have been doing a bit of research around this and I have come up with a strategy that is helping. Allowing myself to think, and to feel whatever is going on in my head and my heart is one thing, examining it to learn from it is quite another.
We all have a myriad of thoughts and feelings in association with all of the aspects of our day to day living. At work we might feel confident and self-assured, capable and productive, yet in another area of our life we may not. What is important though, is how we talk to ourselves in our head about what we think and feel.
Keeping a close eye on our self-talk enables us to become more aware of it, which gives us an opportunity to change it.
Instead of telling yourself that you're just being lazy when you choose to have a lie in, remind yourself that you've worked hard and that you deserve to take care of yourself in this way. Rather than berating yourself for having a few extra kilograms of weight, remind yourself that you are taking steps to change this and you are doing well.
Here's a strategy that might help:
1. Make a point noticing your thoughts and inner dialogue.
2. Catch your destructive self-talk.
3. Actively change that dialogue to something kind, supportive and loving.
I should get out of bed, I'm so lazy.
Yuck, my stomach is sticking out.
I need to get all of this work done today.
I really should cook a proper meal tonight.
The garden needs weeding, I really should have
done it by now.
I didn't sleep well last night, it's okay to rest some more.
It's actually way better than it was, I'm doing really well.
It's okay to finish it tomorrow, I'm tired now.
It's okay to have an easy meal every now and then.
I've done some and I will continue to work at it, it's looking good.
This takes time and effort, but like anything, the rewards will come if you put the work in. It's a matter of persevering. Mostly likely you have thought this way for a very long time without realising it, and it will take time to change habits of a lifetime. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself.
What are some of your most destructive thoughts? I'd love to know. Tell me in the comments.
Until next time,