When something plays on your mind for a very long time, and I'm talking years, the sense of relief that comes from finally making a decision is massive. Recently I've been in this place, and I'm sure you have been at times too. It's very real for many of us.
We toy with ideas don't we? We have thoughts and ideas come to us and we go down certain paths for many different reasons. But, we don't do one thing forever, we all experience change, whether by choice or force.
Today is the choice of change that I want to talk about.
For about two years an idea has been sitting with me. It's one that kind of came to me out of the blue and to be honest, it surprised me. I wasn't ready for it. And then of course I argued with myself about it. All of the reasons to make the change came up, and then I'd counter with all of the reasons not to make the change. You know how it goes.
What I've come to realise in the last few months is that not making that decision took an enormous amount of energy. Those sleepless nights lying awake thinking about it, those long road trips with it going around and around in my mind, the days, evenings and early mornings when it just wouldn't go away. When I look back, it was there all the time; it was constant and I had no idea how draining it was, until recently.
It actually took making that decision to realise what not making it was doing to me. And interestingly enough, since making it, things have begun to change rapidly and in ways I hadn't even thought of.
Yes, I thought I would feel relieved, and I do. And yes, I thought I would feel less pressured, and I do. But what I didn't realise was that my whole demeanour would change. I didn't understand just how much I was being weighed down by sitting on the fence. By not making that final decision, I was putting so much time and energy and thought and effort into something that was not at all productive nor good for me. It drained me. It made me feel stuck.
Now that I have not only made that decision, but that I have taken action to move forward with it, I feel a lightness. I feel unstuck. I feel like there are endless possibilities. I really do feel like a different person. How stuck I was for so long.
You know we can get so bogged down with worrying about what the right decision is, rather than just getting on and doing it. If we think carefully about the pros and cons of a situation, and we are in tune with our intuition, we will know what we really want to do; we then just need to find the courage to do it. We might get the speed wobbles along the way, but that's perfectly normal.
From this process I've learned that I need to listen to myself more, and act on the messages I get. I really don't want to waste on these types of inner battles; they are futile.
Question: What experiences have you had around decision making? I'd really love to hear about how you navigated these times. Tell me in the comments.