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When Being You Makes Them Uncomfortable



When we no longer conform or adhere to societal norms, embracing our true selves can sometimes ruffle feathers. It's not uncommon for people to be triggered when we begin to be authentically ourselves, whether unintentionally or due to our own insecurities. Navigating this terrain has its complexities but if we are steadfast in our direction, we will experience personal development, improved relationships and a more satisfying life.


The conundrum of authenticity

Authenticity is the practice of showing up as your genuine self, without pretence or masks. While being authentic is essential for personal well-being and meaningful relationships, it can sometimes create friction in social dynamics. This paradox arises from the tension between staying true to yourself and conforming to societal norms or others' expectations.


Triggers and reflections

When your authenticity triggers discomfort in others, it's often a reflection of their own insecurities, fears, or unresolved issues. Your courage to be yourself may inadvertently stir up emotions they've been avoiding. Instead of taking their discomfort personally, use it as an opportunity for empathy and self-reflection. Understand that their reactions say more about them than about you.


The growth opportunity

Navigating discomfort while being authentic is a growth opportunity for you and those around you. It challenges you to stand firm in your values and beliefs while fostering a more inclusive and understanding environment. It's a chance to educate others about diversity and the beauty of individuality. When you embrace your authenticity despite the discomfort, you become a catalyst for positive change.


Strengthening relationships

While your authenticity might create initial discomfort, it also paves the way for deeper and more meaningful connections. When you're genuine, you attract people who appreciate you for who you are. The relationships you build will be built on trust, respect, and understanding, as opposed to superficiality or facades. Over time, those who were initially uncomfortable may come to admire your courage and authenticity.


How to cope with resistance


Empathy: Approach others with understanding and compassion. Remember that their discomfort more than likely is about their own unresolved issues.


Open communication: Engage in conversations to explain your perspectives and intentions. Open dialogue can dispel misunderstandings. If however after explanations you still find extreme resistance, it could be time to rethink your social interactions.


Stay grounded: Keep in mind your reasons for being authentic. Ground yourself in your values and beliefs. Know that you have every right to be who you want to be. Remind yourself often of this.


Self-care: Practice self-care to manage any emotional responses triggered by others' discomfort. Arm yourself with a range of practices to use if you are stressed.


Educate: Offer insights into the importance of authenticity and diversity, helping others expand their perspectives. If people are not open to this, it might be time to connect with new groups of like-minded people.


Embracing authenticity is an act of self-love and personal empowerment. While it may temporarily create discomfort in others, it's a powerful catalyst for growth and transformation. As you navigate this path, remember that you're not responsible for others' reactions, but you can influence their perspectives through empathy, education, and open communication. Ultimately, staying true to yourself enables you to continue to evolve personally and create a life that resonates with your values and desires.


Find out more

Book Kathryn as a speaker (in-person or virtually) here


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